Why am I here? What is my purpose? Do I have a creator?
Who determines right and wrong? Is the world around me real? Does consciousness create reality? Whose?
…..
Okay, that is pretty broad and cryptic, but it is the story of my life. I have always felt like an outsider or other. I don’t fit into any definition of normal. I have spent my life asking “why” or “how” at every corner. It was never satisfying for me to accept “that’s just how it works”. Whether talking of a machine, a social interaction, a social convention/norm or a system of interrelated complex interactions…I have never been satisfied with anything less than a full, logical explanation.
That worldview was further complicated as I reached maturity. I began experiencing precognitive dreams, intense fever dreams and anxiety. These new experiences did not fit into the worldview I had been constructing for myself….or did they?
That is where we will start. A life of stoic inquiry into how the world works clashes with a different unknown world.
How will I reconcile who I am with who I also am?